These days, everyone seems to be talking about Twin Flames. You’ve probably seen the term on TikTok, YouTube, or Instagram: that intense, soul-shaking connection that feels magnetic, fated, and unstoppable. It’s trending, it’s romanticized, and for many people, it feels like a spiritual goal.
But is it really love? Or is it something else entirely?
In this post, I want to share my story: how I thought I met my Twin Flame, how that journey nearly broke me, and what African spirituality taught me about true spiritual union. Spoiler: not everything that feels deep is divine.
Before we go deeper, let’s define the term.
In New Age spirituality, Twin Flames are said to be two halves of one soul, split before incarnation and destined to find one another again. It’s marketed as the highest form of love. But the experience, for many, is far from peaceful. It’s often filled with heartbreak, ghosting, confusion, and emotional highs and lows.
There’s usually a “runner” —> the person who recognizes the connection but becomes overwhelmed and distances themselves. And then there’s the “chaser” —> the one left hurting, seeking, trying to re-establish contact.
And let’s be honest, that cycle can be exhausting.
There was even a Netflix documentary about a Twin Flame coaching couple that exposed how spiritual manipulation can happen in these spaces. Vulnerable people were spending huge amounts of money to “reunite” with their Twin Flames, and some were even told to stalk or harass others in the name of divine love.
So I share this to say: be careful. Not all that glitters is spiritual gold.
I thought I met mine.
Our names were nearly identical. He was like the male version of me. We asked the same spiritual questions. He wasn’t religious, but deeply spiritual. I felt seen in a way I never had before.
It was electric.
But then… came the running. Ghosting. Emotional distance. He would leave, then come back. And every time he returned, I clung tighter, thinking this must be fate – this must be the test before the reward.
But it never felt peaceful. It felt chaotic.
Still, I couldn’t let go. Neither could he. And that cycle repeated until I realized this wasn’t love. This was a mirror, reflecting everything I hadn’t healed yet.
That realization brought me back to my roots. I stopped scrolling and started remembering.
In African spirituality, particularly in the Yoruba tradition, love is not meant to confuse or break you. Love is alignment. It is divine recognition. You don’t chase love. You recognize it, spiritually, emotionally, ancestrally.
Take the Orishas Shango and Oshun: Shango represents power and thunder, Oshun represents sweetness, water, and fertility. Their union is not based on intensity or obsession; it’s based on balance. Purpose. Harmony. Their love serves the community, not just themselves.
In many African traditions, a romantic partner isn’t just about chemistry. It’s about ancestral approval. Spiritual compatibility. Shared destiny.
If the Ancestors don’t approve it, it won’t last. Period.
When he ghosted me again, I was heartbroken. I cried. I fasted. I prayed.
Then I got quiet.
I built an altar. I lit candles. I asked my Ancestors plainly: “Is this the one?”
And I listened.
The signs began to show. The dreams became clearer. And I realized this wasn’t my partner. This was my pattern. One, I was finally ready to break.
I made a list of what I truly wanted in a partner, not a fantasy, but something rooted. Specific. Honest. Then I asked my Ancestors if the qualities on that list were aligned with my destiny. I had to make sure I was also someone who matched that energy.
Love isn’t just about what you desire. It’s about what your soul can sustain.
In African spirituality, there is a clear distinction between a spiritual lesson and a spiritual partner. Here’s how you might know you’re in alignment:
You can even build an altar together, offer water or light a white candle, and ask: “Is this union APPROVED?” Watch your dreams. Pay attention to signs. Your Ancestors will speak.
Love doesn’t have to hurt. Union shouldn’t confuse you. True spiritual partnership is calm, aligned, and blessed by Spirit.
The Twin Flame ideology may stir your heart, but African spirituality will ground it.
If you’re on this journey and praying for love, don’t just seek a mirror. Seek a mission. Don’t just fall in love, RISE into purpose.
✨ Want to go deeper? Join my private community, Black Girls Who Don’t Pray, where we unlearn religious doctrine and alter our prayers into powerful declarations aligned with Spirit. If you prefer to work with me 1-on-1 to manifest love, book my course and let’s create together!
