Let me start by saying this: it’s not that I don’t believe in the Divine. I absolutely do. I live my life in deep connection with Spirit. But somewhere along my journey, especially through African spirituality, I realized… I don’t pray the way I used to. And that’s intentional.
When I went to Cameroon, one of the spiritualists I spoke with told me something that shook me a little. He said, “Don’t pray. Prayer is begging.” At first, it felt harsh. But the more I sat with it, the more I understood.
Because the truth is, most of us were taught to pray from a place of lack. We were taught to kneel, to plead, to hope. To ask and wait. To believe that God was somewhere far, far away, maybe listening if we were lucky. And that we had to be “good enough” or “holy enough” to be heard.
That’s colonized spirituality.
In many African traditions, we don’t approach God directly. Not because we’re unworthy, but because we understand spiritual order. We work with the ancestors, who are the intermediaries. The messengers. The ones who’ve crossed over and now serve as guides.
And no, we don’t pray to them either. Because ancestors are not Gods. They’re not here to be worshipped, but they’re here to be honored, to be in relationship with us, and to help us navigate this realm from a place of wisdom and continuity.
Colonial religion taught us we could skip all of that. That we could bypass our lineage, our blood, our rituals and just go straight to the source, unfiltered. But that’s not how it works in our traditions.
Our spirituality is not about begging for miracles. It’s about alignment. It’s about reverence. It’s about remembering who we are.
So no, I don’t pray in the traditional sense. I don’t plead. I don’t ask Spirit to come down and fix my life.
Instead, I listen.
I sit with my ancestors.
I pour libation.
I journal, I visualize, I meditate.
I declare.
I command.
I move like I already have it.
Because that’s what African spirituality teaches me: that I’m not separate from God, I’m rather an extension of divine energy. I don’t have to beg for what’s already mine. I just have to align.
That’s a part of why I call myself a Manifestation Doula. Because I’m not here to teach people to ask harder, I’m here to help them remember their power. To reconnect with a spiritual system that never required begging in the first place.
This path isn’t about disrespecting anyone’s beliefs. It’s about finding what’s true for me. And I know that for me, manifestation flows when I’m not in a constant state of “please,” but in a state of partnership with the unseen.
So no, I don’t pray anymore.
I co-create.
I commune.
I command.
And I remember.
And that’s more than enough.
